Tan Feet SummerMy therapist recently said, “ Even at your lowest of lows, Angel, you are being a go-getter, striving, and being strong. You’re always researching, experimenting, and thinking what can I do to get me to be better. I admire that in you. That is why people say you are resilient and strong. Most would give up with even trying after all the things you’ve been through.” 

Afterwards, I reflected on her words and was like that is the Methodist/John Wesleyan theology in me of always striving to be better than I was the day before. Our striving for Christian perfection, knowing that every day we wake up is a day and chance to live better and be better in Christ.  Which takes me to one of my favorite chapters in Lysa Terkeurst’s It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way,  Tan Feet.

She writes, “ When your life doesn’t require shoes, your feet get tan.” That’s when it occurred to me that if you get desperate enough you’ll go all in with living slow for awhile.  You’ll quiet down all the outside noise so God’s voice can become the loudest in your life. Now, I realize, none of us can just quit life when life falls apart. But we can quit some things.

I cut out almost all TV and social media.

I cut out reading things online and chose to read God’s works more than ever before. 

I cut through the deafening silence of the emptiness in my life by filling my home with praise music. 

 I cut out as many extra activities as possible and spent more time outside with my kids and friends who came to visit. 

I cut out having lots of conversations with curious people and intentionally sought out pastoral counseling and friends with whom I knew I was safe to have deep conversations.

I cut out my speaking engagements and pouring myself out for others I this season I could have time to be courted into. 

And I discovered something wonderful. 

When you suffer, slow becomes necessary. Slow becomes good One of the best parts of this season of summering for me was a life that doesn’t require shoes. When you wear no shoes the sun has access to your feet.

And on a spiritual level it seemed to have some sort of parallel meaning. When you live slow for a season, the Son has access to the parts of you normally covered up by everyday put-ons.”

There is beauty in slowing down. In my lowest of lows I slow down. I pray and ask God to lead me and show me what can get me out this place. Send a video/message/post/thread/person something to make me feel better in this moment. Yet when I read this chapter I said God that’s it!

While my intentions were to have this dissertation completed and turned in by May1, I had set back after set back, yet soon as I got on track, Daddy passed unexpectedly, and it has thrown off all of my plans. All the fasting, praying, planning, slowing down after the holidays seems like it was done for naught. Yet Lysa’s Tan Feet chapter tells me and us, that when things are spiraling and you need God, to slow down and create a life that doesn’t require shoes, that allows your feet to tan. To bask in the slowness so that you can hear God.

While many have told me to slow down and I’m doing too much to rush through grief. I hear you and for that I am going to have a Tan Feet Summer. I am slowing down and pouring into me this season. I am going to have a summer that doesn’t require shoes and perhaps if you’re like me and need more of the Son in your life you should come and join me for a Tan Feet Summer!!!

PS: Send me links to all the cute summer sandals! (size 10)